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  • 4th Feb, 2005 at 11:32 AM

For a while, I was afraid that whatever trigger that filled me with words would disappear shortly after my crisis past. But it hasn't.

I'm very glad for this new ability: to see, to hear, to write. It feels right to be able to put down my thoughts on paper, and see them take on meanings I never knew I thought. It's like having a conversation with yourself, without having people avoid you because you mumble to yourself.

Everyday, I've been writing in this weblog, and every so often I write in a notebook. I've been flipping through one of Julie's books, The Artist's Way, and the author writes about how writing every morning can improve your creativity. There isn't any explanation for why this works, only the assertion that it does.

I find that the more I write, the easier it gets. I do a little bit of stream-of-consciousness. I do a little bit of analysis. I do a little wordplay. There are fewer self-criticisms now—I can explore and play with my letters on the page. With the sound of the words as they go round my skull. And watch the images and feelings that it all evokes.

It's a pretty wonderful experience and I wouldn't give it up. Not after the cost I paid for it.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
4th Feb, 2005 17:14 (UTC)
I wonder what happened to my copy of that book? I either sold it or gave it away, I guess.

I think for people like me - who have to practice being structured, not creative - the method was overkill. By writing every morning I made myself angsty and frustrated that I couldn't just sit and write my whole life away.

Though at this point in my life, nearly 10 years later, it might do me some good.

Your writing has been wonderful lately. :)
4th Feb, 2005 17:24 (UTC)
I think that it is also too extreme for me. But I have noticed the parts where my experience matches what the author writes, and so there is something to learn there.

I never thought I was creative at all, being very well trained to keep myself in check. In a way, I feel that writing has been a road trip of self-discovery. The classic American method of running away in order to find yourself.

I think it will be good for me.

P.S. Thanks for your words of encouragement. I like to read them and it makes me want to write more.
5th Feb, 2005 16:24 (UTC)
Yes, indeed. I think your writing is excellent. It almost makes me jealous ;)
5th Feb, 2005 18:26 (UTC)
I'm very flattered.

Actually, I think I would have preferred being able to craft programmes like I do verse. And I used to be able to. A little switch has flipped in my head, I guess.

P.S. I miss your poems. You were the one who inspired me to start writing.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )